We are excited and grateful to announce our new “home” for the winter: Juniper Mountain Counseling. Located at 61690 Pettigrew Rd. in Bend, this space is newly renovated and will be our living room for the colder months, through April.

What can you expect at Juniper Mountain?

Parking: There is a large parking lot to accommodate all of us.

Accessibility: The entrance to the building, main gathering area, and bathrooms are all wheelchair accessible.

Seating: Seating is living-room style, with some extra folding chairs mixed in. It may take us a few weeks to figure out seating arrangements, but you can trust there is ample room for you.

Kids: There is a special conference room that we will use as a play space for kiddos, though they are welcome (as always) to flow in and out of our main gathering area on Sunday mornings. There will be art, stories and games with our kiddos each week, led by our new children and families organizer. There will also be a quilt and soft toys in the main area for the littlest ones.

Coffee + snacks: We will brew our own coffee each week, along with the usual fixings. We’ll always have granola bars and healthy snacks available, but anyone is welcome to bring a special treat (no peanuts please) any time!

All are welcome to our Storydwelling Halloween Dance Party Fundraiser!

Join us Saturday, October 28, from 4-7 pm for music, games and activities, food + drinks, and an opportunity to celebrate and support this community we love! Costume contest at 5 pm and prizes for best dressed! We suggest a donation of $5 per person, max $20 per family. You can RSVP in advance or simply show up! See you then at Bend Church: 680 NW Bond St.

We are delighted to have received donations of the following fabulous prizes:

Kids Halloween Treat Baskets

Gift Card to Izzaroo – Apparel & Digital Planners
Izzaroo.com, a company that promotes intentional living.
www.izzaroo.com
donated by Mary To-Saturnio

Saturn’s Bling Jewelry
donated by Zander and Zoey Saturnio

Hardenbrook Hardwoods Charcuterie board
Custom Engraved Wood Gifts for special occasions and business clients
HardenbrookHardwoods.com
Donated by Dana Adoretti, owner of Harden Hardwoods

Life Coaching with Amanda Reill – 3, 1:1 Life Coaching Sessions
donated by Amanda Reill

Bottle of Chardonnay and small charcuterie/cheese board

Bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon

Starbucks Gift Card

Monkless Brewing glassware, donated by Monkless Brewing + 2 bottles of Szabo Brew, donated by the Szabo Family

Metolius Tea $50 gift card
donated by Amy Stahl

Ruffwear Puppy Package
donated by Ruffwear

Purple Fox Pottery
Handmade, wheel-thrown pottery in Bend, Oregon. Mid-fire stoneware clay to create cups, mugs, bowls, planters, and other functional items.
www.PurpleFoxPottery.com
Donated by Windy Adoretti, owner of Purple Fox Pottery

Storydwelling is searching for our new Children and Families Organizer!
This is a .25 PTE position with a pay range of $14,560-$18,200 DOE
Benefits include programmatic budget, continuing education, and generous PTO
Start date: October 1, 2023
This is a short-term position for 18 months with the potential to extend longer.

Storydwelling–a small but growing web of community in Bend, rooted in the liberation threads of Christianity–seeks a creative, nurturing, and relational person to develop our community’s accompaniment of children and families in their spiritual development. To learn more about Storydwelling’s values and commitments, please visit our website: www.bendstorydwelling.org

This person will lead:

• a regular rhythm of spiritual practices for preschool and elementary-aged children during our Sunday-morning gatherings
• creative ways of meaning-making with children, including but not limited to skits, storytelling events, art, and adventures and outdoor activities
• children’s participation of and leadership in special community events and holidays
• a structure that supports parents/caregivers in developing practices and rituals at home
• the development of resources that other communities can learn from

This person will be a collaborator with the pastor and other leaders on:

• designing rituals around life transitions (welcoming a child, back-to-school, physical changes, teenagehood, interpersonal relationships)
• parent/caregiver accompaniment circle
• leadership development of children and adults
• a one-week summertime, full-day “spacious spirituality” camp, in partnership with other area congregations
• fundraising for the work

Qualities and Qualifications

Required:

• At least 2 years of experience working with children ages 2-12 in an educational setting
• Can catch the vision and imagination of a generous spiritual formation process
• Enthusiasm for ecumenical and multifaith partnerships
• Commits to upholding and modeling the values of our Affirmation Statement: http://bendstorydwelling.org/about/
• Demonstrates successful work in relating with adults/caregivers
• Strong written and verbal communications skills
• Ability to model personal boundaries when working with children and adults
• Flexibility, adaptability, and a prioritization of relationship
• Creativity and imagination for doing a new thing

Desired:

• Past or current participation in a public community (eg church, synagogue, civic organization)
• Familiarity with biblical stories and Christian ritual (communion, prayer)
• Experience in volunteer management and/or community organizing
• Ability to self motivate and generate own work plan

This person must pass a background check and be CPR/First Aid certified. They must be available most Sunday mornings. Strong preference that this person also be available on Christmas and Easter.

Fundamental practices we will invite this person to commit to:

• listening listening listening! to children and adults
• creative/expansive approaches to the Bible and other sacred stories
• peer and intergenerational relationship instead of “programs” or “curriculums”
• leadership development of children and adults
• development of their own leadership and facilitation skills

Primary hopes for this person’s time and energy:

• build bonds of community and friendship among our children, as well as among their parents/caregivers
• bring families out of isolation and deeper into community
• companion our children as they make meaning and develop resiliency in a complex world and in a web of relationship
• offer children access to biblical stories in ways that are accessible, affirming and just
• steep children in our shared values as a community (relationship, care, justice, liberation)
• ritualize important moments in life for our children, their families and our community.

To apply, email thatpastorerika@gmail.com with a resume and cover letter. We know our community is richer when people of diverse backgrounds, identities and perspectives are in leadership. LGBTQIA+ people, BILAPOC, and people with disabilities are encouraged to apply.

Applications accepted on a rolling basis until position is filled.

Matthew 15:21-28
Jesus left there and departed for the district of Tyre and Sidon. It happened that a Canaanite woman living in that area came and cried out to Jesus, “Heir to the House of David, have pity on me! My daughter is horribly demon-possessed.”
Jesus gave her no word of response. The disciples came up and repeatedly said to him, “Please get rid of her! She keeps calling after us.”
Finally Jesus turned to the woman and said, “My mission is only to the lost sheep of the House of Israel.”
She then prostrated herself before him with the plea, “Help me, Rabbi!”
He answered, “But it isn’t right to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.”
“True, Rabbi,” she replied, “but even the dogs get to eat the scraps that fall from the table.”
Jesus then said in reply, “Woman, you have great faith! Your wish will come to pass.” At that very moment her daughter was healed.

For the past few weeks, I have been praying a fervent prayer–
God, let the opportunity arise for me to preach about Barbie. Please. Amen.
And now, dear friends, that moment has arrived. The first of many, probably.

We encounter Barbie as she is about to walk out onto the beach
where Ken and Barbie and Ken and Ken and Ken and Barbie
are all “beaching.” Not surfing, not swimming– beaching.
She goes to take off her shoes and something happens that breaks her world:
her heels touch the ground. She has flat feet.
That’s just one of the many symptoms she has that indicate that
her world is different. Something fundamentally has changed about Barbieland.
And she doesn’t want ANYTHING to change–
she has the dreamiest house, the cutest car, the best friends–
nothing is supposed to change.
That is the whole point of Barbieland– it’s perfect. No changes allowed.
Especially cellulite.

And as a real human watching this movie,
even though Barbieland does actually look amazing,
I started to feel pity for Barbie really early on.
Honey: life is change.

When I was in chaplaincy training, one of the most compelling
concepts about good care for people
was noticing their tolerance for change. All change is grief.
It was my job to notice how that grief showed up.
If I walked into a hospital room, and the family was there,
I could tell pretty instantly whether they were open to being cared for.
Being receptive to someone changing the status quo,
shifting the dynamic, is having a low need for homeostasis–
that impulse to constantly regulate so that things don’t change.

I took this idea into Tom’s and my relationship and we included it in our wedding vows–
a commitment that we would have a low need for homeostasis,
that we wanted our relationships to shift and change us,
we wanted our home and our family to be open.
Which is probably why we’ve said yes to hosting so many people this summer.
We committed at the beginning of things to aspire to be people who welcome change
because we believe it is the natural, good way of things.

Sci-fi novelist and afro-futurist Octavia Butler once wrote:

All that you touch
You Change.
All that you Change
Changes you.
The only lasting truth
Is Change.
God
Is Change.

In my clearest, most grounded moments, I am faithful to that God.

And the Canaanite woman is too,
in a way that, it seems, Jesus is not.
Jesus, at the beginning of this exchange,
is towing the traditional line of his people:
that the Israelites are God’s chosen ones.
That blessing and favor and healing are for them.
That his presence and ministry are reserved for them.

And I understand it, we can understand it,
this impulse for the circle to be drawn around the Israelites
in a desperation for protection and belonging
because if we remember to read these texts
as a collection of stories to inspire and hearten the oppressed–
we remember that, for a people oppressed,
God is for us
is a powerful statement of rebellion and dignity
in world that is continually against them.

But in the hands of dominant culture, or in the hands of those who oppress
intentionally or unintentionally–
God is for us
becomes exclusivist and violent.
I will be curious to hear the theology of Christian supremacy, Christian nationalism
that emerge at the Republican debates.
This language– God bless America– uttered by politicians on both sides of the aisle–
take their cues from the Jesus of this story.

And the alternative, a universalism that has emerged over the past 100 years
among us good progressive Christian type people–
that God is for everyone and all paths lead up the same mountain–
isn’t so much better.
Public theologian Damon Garcia writes that
If in one scenario you’re right and everyone else is wrong,
and in the other scenario everyone is right in their own way,
then in both scenarios you’re always right, and therefore have nothing to learn from others because you already have everything figured out.

What is the alternative? The alternative is this story.
Over the course of this short exchange,
the Canaanite woman– a woman certainly outside of Jesus’ circle,
religiously, culturally, racially,
changes his heart and his mind about the nature of the circle to begin with.

Even the dogs get the children’s leftovers.

The vision for reconciliation and repair is always expanding to become more inclusive.
And even that word inclusive–
as a community we decided over a year ago that we’re not super interested
in “including” people in what we’re doing already
so much as we want to be about
being changed continually by our relationships.
We sing May the Circle be unbroken every week, and I love that song,
because protection and belonging are vital, especially on our hardest days,
when we feel so acutely that the systems were not always designed for us,
and yet the circle needs to be porous, it needs to break and be made again,
it needs to have gaps where people can come and go
and where relationship can change us always.
God is change.

This is the realization of Jennifer and I in a good conversation last week
about this LGBTQ+ spirituality circle that is slowly slowly slowly coming into being…
we realized that the queer folx who call Storydwelling home
have found a space, more or less, to bring any pain or woundedness they have
from churches past. They are in the circle. The circle expanded and broken and breathed
so that we who are here have found belonging together.
This space is designed for us.

So: what we are talking about when we talk about accompaniment for
queer folx whose spiritual pain is so close to the surface
is listening to the stories of people we haven’t met yet.
Letting the circle be a breathing, porous organism
that changes because of relationship.
So we are going to do that: listen– widely– this coming year.
I have thought for many years of God as relationship
so God must must must be change, too.

That is the movement of all life finding its way to survive, yes?
Certain species of woodpecker have evolved to adapt to wildfire–
they eat grubs only out of freshly burned trees.
There are small mouse-like marsupials that have evolved to shelter in in a sleep-like state
as wildfire flames pass overhead.
And there are the mothers and parents who adapt out of desperate love for their children–
shifting the environments around them, shifting their whole lives–
because Life wants to live, so it must change.
God is change.

Which is such good news–
for the animals and plants surviving these wildfires,
for those, especially queer folx, for whom churches and systems have not been designed,
for mothers protecting their children,
and yes for Barbies living in Barbieland where everything is perfect but it isn’t true.

God is change, is very very good news for the parts of our stories
where the pain is close to the surface.
It will not always hurt like this– on the land, in parenting, in the quest for belonging.
The winds will shift
and we will redraw our circles
for the sake of more voices, more delight, more justice.

May it be so.

Belonging, not Belief
preached by Becca Tatum among the Storydwelling community on July 23, 2023
Romans 8:26-39

Many of you are probably way more up on pop culture than I am – and I’m not talking about teenager pop culture, I’m talking straight up 40-something culture, like what shows are you watching on Netflix. So, don’t judge me when I tell you I’ve just discovered how lovely and sweet Ted Lasso is. And if you don’t know, Ted Lasso is a cheery, optimistic American football coach, hired to coach a struggling English soccer team, by a team owner who is sure he’ll fail because he doesn’t know anything about the game. But what we learn, over time, is that Ted’s not about the game- he’s about the people. He cares about what matters to the team, who they are, and expects them to show that same caring to each other. He coaches the team, not the game.

Ted Lasso may seem like it has nothing to do with the Apostle Paul, or this letter to the Romans, which still basically takes my breath away because it sounds so awful, so exceptionalist, so filled with awful words like ‘chosen’ and ‘justify’ and ‘if god is with us, who can be against us?’ It’s like the very worst of white, Christian nationalism- a poison pill, a bunch of bullies talking about why they’re better than anyone else.

And yes, these words- and centuries of empires- have absolutely been used to build an idea of Christian empire- in the case of Rome, or Spain, or all of Europe, or the United States- where actual elected officials, and candidates, actually say, and believe, that they are better than other people who are not Christian. Who say things like,” In November we are going to take our state back, my God will make it so” (Doug Mastriano, Rep for PA Governor), or “The church is supposed to direct the government, the government is not supposed to direct the church” (Lauren Bobbert, CO Rep), or “Our Constitution is built upon the Bible,” (OK Rep candidate Jackson Lahmeyer). Author Jarod Yates Sexton writes, “Beginning with the merging of Christianity and state power in Rome, the tenets of the faith have been co-opted into aiding in the preservation and expansion of power.”

Cue Ted Lasso. And imagine ourselves not in a country where many elected leaders truly do seem to believe Christian belief is a requirement to lead—but as an oppressed, marginal community of new believers- the Way – struggling to keep practicing justice, radical love, hospitality, and connection- across the traditional lines of class, gender, social status, marital status, and ethnic group which were so powerful in ancient Rome.

Paul’s letter to the Romans in our current context sounds like a horrible political fundraising appeal. But in Paul’s context, it’s more like a locker-room pep talk from the world’s least experienced coach talking to a team which is about to lose its 5^th game in a row. Remember that Jesus suffered and died in the machinery of the Roman Empire, because he did things that put love over profit, people over position, human connection over rules that protected power. He didn’t just ignore the rules—he rewrote them. And this letter is written after his death – to a struggling team of Jesus-followers risking their lives and their place in society to keep trying to practice what Jesus knew was right. It’s half time, and they’re getting their butts kicked and it might just be easier to give up, to hide away, rather than go back and be humiliated some more.

Enter Paul, writing the biggest spiritual pep talk to a community who needs to pull together and belong – belong to each other, belong to a growing world of Jesus followers, belong to a future where Love is Queen, not Caesar. Paul knows times are dangerous, and scary. ‘The spirit too comes to help us in our weakness. For we don’t know how to pray as we should, but the spirit expresses our plea with sighs too deep for words.’ I know you feel abandoned, and weak, and scared, and defeated. God knows how you feel. The spirit is with you even if you don’t have words to explain just how bad it is.

For this community, the rest of the passage reminds them that they have a special connection, a special identity- they belong to a team. This team isn’t so popular or powerful as Christianity can seem today. It’s a team of underdogs, people trying on a new way to behave in a world which won’t reward their commitments. Having played on a few teams and watched a few movies, I’m imagining Paul in all the great sports films- clapping in the middle of the locker room, or banging on a trash can, reminding us: this is who you are. You are beloved. You belong to God and to each other. You are more than mere mortals- you are part of a great ocean of love, of spirit, of belonging which transcends the worst of what you are feeling today. You can DO THIS! We can DO THIS TOGETHER!

I have days where this kind of message feels super, and uplifting, and comforting and exciting. I need to be reminded that there is a life, a love, a spirit larger than my brain’s regular anxieties and worries, fears and frustrations. I need to remember that there are things beyond my control, that there is- there just might be – a Love that surpasses all knowing, a spirit who reaches in with sighs too deep for words. I need to remember that I am loved Just. Because. Because nothing can separate me from Love.

And yet. Life is hard, and all these things Paul describes happen- to us, to our beloveds. Megan’s message last week spoke beautifully to a search for God amidst hard things, to the question ‘Where do we find God when hard things are happening?’ I won’t try to repeat what she shared so eloquently, except to say thank you—and to name that so many of our very own beloveds are walking today a hard path- with uncertainty, and illness, and disconnection, and conflict. God is in these things as we help each other through them- just as God, as Paul describes, is imbued in a team of new believers- new belongers- helping them to find a way in a world which really doesn’t want what they know is possible.

Friends, we may not be persecuted in Rome, but we can still be that team of believers and belongers. Believers not as chosen ones or those who are justified- but those who follow a path of love and know that our strength is in our ability to lift up one another. We are a team. We are not all the same. We bring tender love and funny humor; beautiful words and beautiful songs; tender hearts and strong minds. Each of us is not alone in this work and in this world. And each of us is allowed to be broken, imperfect, incomplete, naked.

As a team, we are also connectors and organizers, called to join together in a way that supports us in a world which still seems to reward individual achievements, bullies and power over people. Here in this space we practice collective empowerment, we reach past boundaries, and we commit to keep learning and listening. Writer Linda Noonan captures this idea in her discussion of Romans for Enfleshed: “Where does it hurt?” asks Mama Ruby Sales. “What keeps you up at night?” “Who do you love?”? These questions are core invitations in community organizing. They help to surface the shared pain that forms the foundation for the change we want to see in our world. In Romans, Paul laments the pain of the people and all creation, and goes on to envision a “new creation.” Organizing begins with that same pain and envisions a new order.

So much of our Christian tradition and practice has emphasized belief over belonging. We have, for too long, asked “What do you believe?” instead of “Where does it hurt?” or “What does belonging look like?”

Across the country and the globe, people continue to organize, create webs of intentional relationship, build collective power out of shared pain, shine a light on broken systems, imagine new ways of belonging and community care, and hold those responsible for change accountable.”

That’s an invitation I want. An invitation to belong, not believe- and an invitation to belong to each other in ways that transcend pain and separation, that reach past our own fears and shame and share that love, Love at the pulsing heart of life, Love at the heart of God who knows our heart’s deepest needs. Beloveds, belong to one another today- and always- and belong to the heart of our love seeking its way in the world. May it be so.

We are delighted to share with you our 2022 Annual Report! Click below and read on to find out what we learned and nurtured together as Storydwelling in 2022.

Storydwelling is hiring!

Storykeeper
Hourly, part-time staff
5-10 hours per week
$25/hour

Storydwelling–a small but growing web of community in Bend, rooted in the liberation threads of Christianity–seeks a creative, organized and flexible person to support our logistics and communications work. The storykeeper will work with other staff–including the pastor/organizer and minister of sacred presence–to develop and maintain a meaningful digital presence for the community; work with our bookkeeper to track donations and expenditures; maintain contact lists; and keep the operations of this small nonprofit running smoothly. We know that clear communication and administration helps people feel cared for, so, ultimately, this is a caring role.

This person ideally:

• is organized
• able to multitask
• enjoys both working independently and collaboratively
• has an eye for creative and artistic expressions of work
• is comfortable using technology
• isn’t afraid to set and hold deadlines for self and others
• prioritizes relationship over product or performance
• is willing to explore nuanced spiritual/political language with others

Required skills:

• Basic knowledge of Google Drive, including Docs, Sheets, Forms, etc.
• Excellent written and verbal communication
• Comfort navigating the Internet and online banking
• Basic math and spreadsheet experience
• Comfort navigating and posting on social media
• Canva or other design software

Desired skills:

• WordPress
• Experience with online giving platforms such as Vanco
• Experience engaging in fundraising, including donor campaigns and grant management
• Video editing experience
• Bookkeeping expertise is a plus and would add hours + pay to this role description

Primary duties and responsibilities:

Operations (65%):

• Maintain updated contact list
• Maintain updated donor list
• Pay bills and invoices
• Track incoming donations and liaise with the bookkeeper
• Assist with grant applications and reporting; assist with denominational paperwork
• Order materials
• Manage room rentals
• Create weekly print materials (eg bulletin)
• Maintain Storydwelling calendar
• Bookkeeping experience a plus but not required

Communications (35%):

• Work with pastor/organizer to communicate via email and other media on a regular schedule with Storydwelling participants and friends
• Maintain website
• Design and execute creative communications expressions (video sermons, website features, social media posts)
• Support fundraising campaigns (mailings, social media postings, etc.)

This role can be performed remotely and during flexible hours, though it will require, at times, collaborating directly, in real time, with other teammates. A desk in our shared office is available for this person to use during working hours.

The position is hourly at a starting rate of $25/hour, depending on experience. Start date is November 1, but applications will be accepted on a rolling basis until the best fit is found. We estimate our storykeeper will work about 5-10 hours per week, depending on the season. This is a temporary, six-month position with the hope to extend it indefinitely depending on fit and budget.

To apply, email thatpastorerika@gmail.com with a resume, cover letter and two references. If applicable, please also send samples of social media or design work.

We know our community is richer when people of diverse backgrounds, identities and perspectives are in leadership. LGBTQIA+ people, BILAPOC, and people with disabilities are encouraged to apply.

To learn more about Storydwelling’s values and commitments, please visit our website: www.bendstorydwelling.org

sermon among the Storydwelling community on May 1, 2022 in Kiwanis Park, Bend
rooted in John 20:19-31

I have my own “doubting Thomas” at home–
a reputation he is proud of.
And doubting, critiquing is an important,
inherent part of this community’s DNA–
we spent a lot of heart and time and energy in my living room
in those early days giving honor to our doubt,
respecting it, as we sought to unlearn
some of the theologies we were offered,
some of which included the notion that it is not okay to doubt.

My hope is that we have blessed our doubt over the past couple of years,
called it good.
Cole Arthur Riley, the writer of Black Liturgies, invites people to:
“Release yourself from the tyranny of spiritual certainty.
Doubt is not a threat to faith;
it’s faith that has finally taken off its mask.”
We were tired, in those early days, of our intellects, our wonder,
being cause for breaks in relationship.

Somewhere, deep down inside,
my gutm which is Spirit’s sacred information for me,
tells me: my intellectual assent to a set of doctrine,
no matter how lovely that doctrine might be,
is not nearly as important as how I give my heart
in relationship to the people and things I love.

This is the difference in contemporary English sense of “belief”–
and the ancient Greek one. Pistevou–
which is less like belief and more like:
commitment, fidelity, giving one’s heart.

Which brings us back to Thomas. Because, we have to ask:
behind the locked doors where the disciples are gathered,
why was Thomas was not there? Where did he go?
Jesus goes on to tell them–
if you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven.
if you retain anyone’s sins, they are retained.
That’s just the truth, right?
If we trust that a faithful definition of sin is–
a break in relationship–
it is just true that communities and individuals have the power, the ability,
to hold on to brokenness, to fissures in relationship,
or to release brokenness,
to release whatever cracks in relationship that may grow.

I wonder if there is at first a fissure in
Thomas’ relationship with the community.
Because why is he not there?
It’s not a stretch to wonder if perhaps this whole story
is not about Thomas’ “right belief”
but is about Thomas moving out of
and then back into relationship with his community.
His community’s attempts, sometimes good sometimes bad,
to engage in reconciliation with him,
in healing, in welcome, in affirmation of who he is.

We don’t know why Thomas is not there,
but it sounds like it was dangerous out there, beyond the locked doors–too dangerous for him to be alone.
It was his community’s job to protect him.

Our call, which I think we’ve known from
the very first seeds of this community,
which we know in our guts as individuals, wherever we are–
in school, at home, with our children, in a session, on a work site
is not to operate within the paradigm of
whether someone is a believer or not a believer,
whether we can think our way into a particular doctrine,
but is to operate in the world of
giving our hearts in right relationship to people and things that we love:
which looks like accompaniment, reconciliation,
continual repair and healing.

For what it’s worth, this is for me what it looks like to “believe in Jesus.”
To give my heart to what I see that Jesus gave his heart to.
To be in a posture that always centers relationship.

That is what we do today, my friends–
as we steep ourselves in conversation around our value of
affirming and celebrating the beautiful variety of
sexual orientations and gender identities among us,
the beautiful variety of ways that Love expresses itself among us.
We’ll have a community conversation about making our “welcome”–
although it is and will be much more than a welcome–
explicit and bold and something
we can hold ourselves accountable to…

And it grieves me to say it: that we do this,
because it is joyful, because it is good and right and important, yes
and also because, somehow, it is still dangerous out there.
And it is community’s job to protect each of us,
to protect all, in right and loving relationship–
in how we give our hearts to what Jesus gave his heart to–
the work of belonging, healing, accompaniment, life together.

May it be so.

sermon among the Storydwelling community on April 17, 2022 in Kiwanis Park, Bend
rooted in Luke 24:1-12

We are here–in the cold, there was a blizzard yesterday–
because of our muscles.
Our muscle memories tell us:
we gather on Easter. We tell the story.
We make it special, gosh darn it,
and these kids are gonna have 200 Easter eggs to find and rip open.
My body tells me to do it.

Same for the women in this story–
whereas maybe the other disciples are tucked away, hiding, who knows,
the women’s muscles, their memories, compel them toward the body of their beloved.
What they are going to do–anoint his body with spices oil–
was just what people did back then. They have a muscle memory for this.
And just like the women, our memories drive us,
desperate for communion with other bodies.

This is the original state of being.
From one cell, in the very beginning of everything, we are now many,
and we find ourselves desperate for reunion ever since.

But what happens when our bodies are attacked by virus,
or by the fear of getting the virus,
or by the fear of being around other bodies.
When our bodies only know the numbness of screens and the numbing of another glass of wine,
and all of that starts to feel safe because our bodies are so scared.

Our bodies have been rewired over the past two years.
And I’m not sure we remember how to walk steadily
toward one another, toward our neighbors, toward bodies in need of care and tending.

My mind forgets what it is to let each minute, each day, each movement of my body
be oriented toward at-one-ment,
be filled up with love, with grace;
as if each person, flora, creature, day is pure gift,
bearer of god–
both fleshy and divine.
My mind forgets, so I am trusting that my body, my muscles, remember.

The women remember:
as they see the stone rolled away they recall their beloved teacher,
their beloved community of peaceful insurrectionists.

How for them each day was an opportunity to see the light in the body right in front of them.
This was their revolution: to reorient always toward love and tender care.

And the empty tomb is Jesus’ most defiant act of doing just that:
reorienting toward love, care and the capital T truth that life wants to live.

He lives on the minute those women decide to keep on living, too.

This is resurrection.
This is what I give my heart to–
what I pledge my fidelity to:
I am resurrected, over and over again,
in my reorientation toward love, care,
and living persistently even though death-dealing forces would have it any other way.

We are resurrected, beloveds.
Just like the women who were bursting with both confusion and fear and anticipation for what happens next.

Our bodies are resurrected,
our bodies are resurrecting–it never has to stop–
and that is a muscle memory as old as the big bang;
that is a muscle memory as old as your time in the womb.
A muscle memory shared by all life everywhere:
from the mycelium underground to the grass under our feet to the sparrows in the sky–
It is a collective memory that tells us to live. To care.
To break down any barriers to life that we encounter.
To be resurrected by the Spirit that moves in and among all things.

We are resurrecting now–
our creaky bones are starting to remember,
our muscles are starting to come alive;
these days in the tomb have been hard.
And it is not over.
But we are beginning to remember.
So it is okay to start small. Really small.
We don’t need to roll away huge boulders;
small stones are a good way to start.
And they are a good way to end, too, by the way–
maybe it is only ever about small stones.

Resurrection looks like relearning how to
call someone when you know they have had a tough week.
Or reaching out to someone to ask them to call you because you’ve had a tough week.
It looks like inviting a circle of people to your house to do crafts in your yard;
looks like holding someone’s baby or making a meal or making plans to take a walk.
It looks like figuring out my own capacity to be of use in the world–
by volunteering at the hospital; by setting aside money and energy for local organizing events;
looks like rumbling and being vulnerable with a colleague or a friend,
looks like inviting almost-strangers over to your house for dinner
because that’s how friendships get born.

It looks like sleeping; it looks like stopping.
It looks like saying “no” to anything that feels like death.
It looks literally a million ways
this learning we get to do, over and over, thanks be to God–this remembering how to be resurrected.

One day the mist will clear and the big boulders,
the huge mountains of systemic injustice and oppression
will be clear again, as they have been in the past–
they will be clear again, and our work, your workm will be crystal clear– maybe it already is for you.
And when that time comes our muscles will know how to move mountains,
how to roll away stones,
because we’ve been practicing, and practicing together–
THREE women came to the tomb, not just one, by the way–
one couldn’t have rolled the stone away by herself–

Our muscles will remember how to be resurrected,
and when my body forgets, yours will remind me–
and now is a time to be reminded:
your life wants to live;
your body is divine enfleshed;
you are resurrected,
and we are many.

Thanks be to God.

May it be so.

reflection among the Storydwelling community on Good Friday, April 15, 2022
rooted in John 18:1-19:42

We are tired, beloveds.
Hearing this story, hearing these stories,
is wearying.
Because we love, we grieve,
and grief is exhausting,
and so we are tired.

So maybe this is why we should not try and do theological gymnastics to try and find
something good in this Good Friday story.
Will we draw purpose and meaning out of this death?
Yes.
Is God present there at the cross and here among us,
and in every place and time that bears witness to the crucifixion of bodies?
Yes.
But the day was not good, and the cross is not good.

The late theologian Dr. James Cone writes that the cross can heal and hurt;
it can be empowering and liberating
but also enslaving and oppressive.
The cross is the first-century means of doing away with the bodies that unsettle;
the cross is the lynching tree, the execution chair;
the homeless camp sweeps, the gun in the hands of an enraged and prejudiced human.

It is frankly amazing that we steward this story at all;
it is hard to talk about with our children,
it is hard to make meaning of it for ourselves.
Though God knows millions of people for millenia have tried.
And I’m staying I know better than they do–
I’m saying that I feel that same impulse too:
to try and find the goodness here when perhaps there is none.

Tonight I am just tired,
I am just weary,
by the small wounds of my days
and by the big wounds I’ve been too tired to track:
I know there are wars, plural, raging;
I know things cannot remain the way they are in this country,
on this planet.
There is too much pain that has been unveiled in my life,
in our lives,
to keep going as if all is well and good.

The goodness was before:
the goodness was last night.
The eating together, the singing, the washing of our dusty, weary feet.

The goodness was in the life lived in love:
the One who went continually close to the pain,

who went always close up to the wounds–
so that the blind might see, the captives might be free–
and that life was just too good for Empire to allow it to live;
it was just so good that it was unsettling.
A life lived in love, a life that made room for others;
a life that lives in each of us–
the God three inches behind our belly buttons,
an impulse, a vocation, a special kind of heartburn
that, if we let, makes us pretty unsettling too.
You can be unsettling. Your goodness.
I can be unsettling. My goodness.

If I let it.

And maybe tomorrow, or the next day, I’ll let it;
but tonight, I’ve grown sleepy, I’ve grown weary,
and it is the best I can do to simply stay:
and allow the Love that lives in me to labor to give birth
to the grief that will honor my ancestor Jesus and my crucified siblings.

We are thrilled to share with you our 2021 Annual Report!

Music Director
.20 PTE
$10,400 per year
Anticipated start date: April 5, 2021

The Position

The Music Director is the curator and innovator of all things music for the Storydwelling community. Storydwelling is an ecumenical and affirming community of faith committed to love, liberation and relationship and practicing belonging, resistance and ritual. While we are rooted in the progressive theology of the Lutheran and Methodist traditions, we long to explore the beautiful and creative edges of what is possible as we curate new theological vocabulary and spiritual imagination. Out of listening and intentional relationship, we are committed to walking alongside our neighbors for the sake of justice and peace. We particularly, in this season, have commitments to inclusive, accessible child care and immigrant & racial justice movements.

Responsibilities

The primary responsibility of the Music Director is lead our community in song, drawing on a variety of musical styles as well as arranging and crafting new music for the community in order to curate a tone and spiritual vocabulary that aligns with our values and commitments. The Music Director will do the creative work of putting our commitments to music. These need not be master compositions; simple tunes and chants are our speed!

The Music Director is, at times, a performer, making our gatherings and rituals more beautiful and offering music that speaks to the moment. At other times, the Music Director is a conductor, inviting all voices into the music-making. And still at others, the Musical Director is a community organizer, learning people’s stories and inviting their gifts into the commons. The Musical Director can also, at times, be invited to offer music in more public and political ways, such as accompanying Interfaith Movement for Immigrant Justice on behalf of the Storydwelling community, or performing for a public vigil. Of course, these opportunities can be taken up and set down according to capacity, time constraints, and passion on behalf of the musician.

Of course, the Music Director is welcome to be a part of our community in whatever ways feel right, but participation in all gatherings is not required. We are a community rooted in Christian tradition, seeking to subvert and liberate that tradition, but we love and honor all perspectives; in fact, the more perspectives the better! Our gatherings and leadership are comprised of a beautiful variety of spiritual perspectives, including those reclaiming Christianity; those who are exploring more expansive meaning-making; and those who might identify with other beliefs. A particular faith or religious background is not a requirement for belonging or for this position; a longing to create spaces of beauty and accompany people in their meaning-making–is.

Expectations

• Musical skill insomuch as one can craft new music for a community as well as lead music for a community (sing-alongs; participatory lyric “zipper” songs; call & response; harmony arrangements for volunteer singers; lead instrumental music to accompany ritual moments. For more, ask about our current MD’s song resources!)
• Willingness to cultivate the musical gifts of others in the community
• Flexibility and adaptability
• A sense of humor
• A spirit of collaboration and reverence
• A bold yet humble political lens for liberation and rewriting “scripts”
• Openness to exploring theological and spiritual language and practices insomuch as they connect with the community’s musical expressions
• Availability on most weekends and some holidays
• Particular instrumental expertise is preferred but not required
• Familiarity with sound equipment and online tools like Zoom is preferred but not required

Storydwelling expects all of its staff and community to commit to our core values of inclusivity & affirmation; relationship-deepening; curiosity; and a commitment to just action.

Compensation

This is a part-time position, and the anticipated weekly working hours may vary greatly, from 5-12 hours per week, depending on the season. The Storydwelling community gathers weekly on Sunday mornings as well as on holidays such as Christmas Eve and Easter. We recognize the schedule can be odd, so we highly value open communication, clarity, and grace.

We are able to offer a small benefits package that includes a monthly health allowance, paid sick and vacation leave, and a program budget for continuing education, materials, etc.

Our hope is that our new Music Director will be willing to meet and train with our current one in a spirit of collaboration, mutual learning and a smooth transition.

To Apply

If this sparks something in you, please contact Rev. Erika Spaet, thatpastorerika@gmail.com, with a cover letter about your interest and a sample recording of your style. If you prefer a conversation to a written letter, please note this in an email. Position is open until filled.

We know our community is richer when people of diverse backgrounds, identities and perspectives are in leadership. LGBTQIA+ people, BILAPOC, and people with disabilities are encouraged to apply.

A circle of womxn/women is forming this summer to create community and sacred space together. We’ll gather to connect over Shameless, the latest book from Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber. This circle is an invitation to sip and snack with new friends as we discuss sex, sexuality, queerness, bodies, reproduction and the cultivation of a faith that might free, rather than shame, us.

We gather on Tuesday evenings from 7-9 pm from July 9-August 27. Meet outside Bright Place Gallery under the tent on the south side of the building. Look for the friendly women-types in the garden! Sips and snacks available (but always optional) from nearby Bevel Craft Brewing and campus food carts.

Suggested donation of $0-$80 for the round, including the book. Sign up by July 2 if you’d like us to order your book; otherwise, just show up! No RSVP necessary. Email thatpastorerika@gmail.com to sign up or for more information.

The book and our leadership emerge from the Lutheran tradition, but all perspectives are invited and encouraged. This circle is rooted in the Storydwelling community, and you can learn more about our welcome and our values here. Trans, non-binary, queer, lesbian, cis, hetero and all beautiful varieties of womxn are warmly invited. The more perspectives around the table, the more wisdom available to us.

Musician in Residence
stipended position
$250 per week, approximately 10 hours a week
August-December 2019

The Position

The Musician in Residence will be the curator and innovator of all things music for the Storydwelling community. Storydwelling is an ecumenical and affirming community of faith committed to love, liberation and relationship. We are rooted in the progressive theology of the Lutheran and Methodist traditions, and we long to explore the beautiful and creative edges of what is possible as we curate new theological vocabulary and spiritual imagination. We are committed to taking action for justice and peace in our neighborhoods and world.

Responsibilities

The primary responsibility of the Musician in Residence is to craft new music for this community and to curate a tone and spiritual vocabulary that aligns with our values and commitments. We imagine the MiR working among us as she/he/they do the creative work of putting our commitments to music. These need not be master compositions; simple tunes and chants are our speed!

A secondary responsibility will be to lead our community in music at our regular gatherings and at special events, but these tasks should contribute to the creative work of the MiR rather than distract or consume too much time.

Of course, the MiR is welcome to be a part of our community in whatever ways feel right, but participation in all gatherings is not required. We are a community rooted in Christianity, but we love and honor all perspectives; in fact, the more perspectives the better!

Expectations

• Musical skill insomuch as one can craft new music for a community as well as lead music for a community
• Willingness to cultivate the musical gifts of others in the community
• Flexibility and adaptability
• A sense of humor
• Openness to exploring theological and spiritual language and practices insomuch as they connect with the community’s musical expressions
• Availability on most weekends and some holidays

Story Dwelling expects all of its staff and community to commit to our core values:

• Y’all means all: we affirm the identities, backgrounds, and perspectives of all people
• God is a relational experience, and so relationship–rather than doctrine or dogma–is of primary value; we cultivate relationship through listening and sharing our stories.
• Faith is intentional: curiosity, wonder, awe are encouraged and cultivated.
• We steward sacred texts: of our scripture(s) and the sacred texts of our lives and stories.
• Out of relationship, we take hopeful action for justice and peace.

Compensation

This is a part-time position. Compensation is a stipended rate of $250 per week with the expectation of working 10 hours/week, recognizing that some weeks will require less time and some weeks (Christmas, for example) will require more time. The position will begin August 1 and end December 31.

This position is brand new and will develop and adapt as community and musician need it to. If all goes well, there is a good possibility of this extending beyond December 31 and becoming a permanent staff position.

If interested, please contact thatpastorerika@gmail.com to set up an initial meeting. Please send a sample recording or video that shows you “in your element” musically. Applications accepted on a rolling basis until position is filled.

Storydwelling is committed to providing equal employment opportunities to all qualified individuals and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, ethnicity, religion, sex, gender identity and expression, sexual orientation, national origin, disability, age, marital status, veteran status, parental status, documentation status or any other basis prohibited by applicable law.

People of color, people with disabilities, and people of diverse sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities are encouraged to apply.

Each year, the church calendar invites us to spend a week reflecting on and embodying the cycle of death and life that is human existence. The calendar calls this Holy Week.

Friends, all days are holy; none more holy than another. But this week is meant to be a remembrance: of a life lived in G-d–the rabbi Jesus–and of all of our lives lived in G-d/Source/Mystery.

Our invitation is to spend a week in intentional reflection and celebration together through music, storytelling, hiking and feasting. During these holy days, we remember and acknowledge that the world crucifies those who resist, those on the edges; crucifies the edges of our own stories and lives. And yet: we trust this is not the last word. When we gather together, we remember how true it is:

life wants to live.

This evening gathering invites us to reflect on the shadow side of our human lives and the Love that was and is crucified in solidarity with crucified people and communities in our world. We gather at one of our homes for an out-loud reading of the story of Jesus of Nazareth’s betrayal and execution, blended with the music of Brandi Carlile. You can expect to gather for about an hour with singing, prayer, candles and a campfire. All are welcome. Send us a quick note to receive the address.

As Holy Week invites us to reflect on life and death, we commit to acts of hopeful resistance as our kin and neighbors seek life in a death-dealing world. The ability to drive legally is a core everyday need for Oregon families. The Oregon legislature has the opportunity to pass House Bill 2015 this legislative session, a bill that would help ensure that all Oregonians can access a license to drive and have
a legal way to identify themselves. No family should fear being separated for driving to work, school or their house of worship. Our elected officials need to hear from us! Join us for this town hall at First Presbyterian in Bend to hear stories about how equal access to roads would strengthen our community.

This is the celebration of Easter, Storydwelling style! The Easter vigil is the oldest form of Easter celebration, and it is a night of stories. Yes, the stories in the Bible are unbelievable. But on Easter eve, we reclaim them, tell them, honor them. These are old wives’ tales and we get to love them into something more powerful than any textbook. We begin the evening outside around the campfire and then we spend the next TWO HOURS telling stories from the Hebrew tradition, singing and doing art together. This is more coffee house than it is “church service.” The evening culminates with a big celebration: Preaching! Wine & bread! Champagne! It’s all here. Yes, this gathering is long, but there are treats and activities for families all along the way. Absolutely all are welcome. Thanks to Nativity Lutheran for letting us use the space! We gather in the prayer garden on the east side of the parking lot.

Join us for an Easter hike to the top of Lava Butte (https://www.hikespeak.com/trails/lava-butte-hike-newburry-nvm-bend/)! We’ll meet up for an outdoor adventure to fill our lungs with Life and walk with footsteps of persistent Love. All are welcome. Bring a lunch or some snacks with you to enjoy at the summit with breathtaking Cascade views. We’ll bring the champagne! What a way to share in communion on this sacred day!

First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to “order” than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: “I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action”; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man’s freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a “more convenient season.” Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.

— Excerpt from Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Letter from a Birmingham Jail

This letter has always been one of my scriptures: for the ways it makes me weep and holds a mirror to my face and invites me to gaze with love at our world.

Just as all good scriptures do.

I have beloveds who have lately said to me: “I want to be loving. I want to be compassionate. I want to transcend the lines that divide us–political, religious, ideological. But people keep disappointing me. They keep choosing compromise over me. They keep choosing religious doctrine over me. They keep choosing ‘peace’ over me.”

I invited our community to reflect this past weekend on where, how and with whom we are longing to “make room” for relationship. How our communal “womb” is invited to stretch and grow and be challenged for the sake of new life. I think it’s a good question: few of us can say we have learned to love others with perfect hospitality.

And yet: so many of us have already had to “make room.” To stand aside and let our relationships be more important than our pride, our dignity, our talents. We have already been making room for family members, colleagues, local governments, the wider culture to struggle with our sex or sexuality, our race, our age, our dreams and our visions. You name it, many of us have already learned to make room for it. Often, we have done it out of love. Often it is under duress and by force for the sake of survival.

I say “we” and “our” and yet am aware that Rev. King’s invitation is to me and folks like me: white, middle-class spiritual leaders. I weep when I read this letter, because that is the feeling of my womb being stretched. Room must be made in my mind, my actions, my energy, my body for the humanity and freedom of every single one of my sacred siblings.

Because we are accountable to our relationships. We (particularly people with power/privilege) can say or think or tweet or behave or vote or pray however we want, but we cannot do it without expecting some relational consequences. There is a line.

It need not divide us forever, it need not dismiss someone or banish them outside of a community or a circle or from our lives entirely. For what it’s worth, my theology, my Bible and my relationship with the Holy do not send folks to an afterlife hell.

But we must ask, expect and–when the time comes–require from our relationships speech, actions, and behavior that are loving, respectful and humanizing. And, dare I say, awe-filled. We are invited to be in awe of one another by the Spirit who dwells within each of us.

So, yeah, there’s a line.

Among the community that is becoming Story Dwelling, we have that kind of line. We expect justice-love from one another. We will not engage in debate about whether someone is fully human, fully beloved, fully justified (to use that oh-so-religious word). That means LGBTQ+ folx are not “them”–”they” are us. Leaders. Organizers. Collaborators. That means women and people of color and young people and immigrants and refugees are not “them”– “they” are us. We will not debate our marriages, our leadership, our giftedness. We may experience tension about how best to strategize; we may realize we have messed up and forgotten to invite someone to the table; we may struggle with our own feelings of guilt that come with privilege or feelings of inadequacy that come with oppression. We will struggle with those things. But we will not debate our worth or our liberation destiny. That is not what beloved community does. The same good reverend whose life we celebrate today teaches us that.

There is a line. It need not separate us. But it does need to be a loving boundary–a trustworthy, hospitable and strong-as-hell container–that allows for vulnerability and deep belonging and loving story-telling. We deserve that kind of womb, and our neighborhoods deserve faith communities that respond to that sense of belonging by working, pushing, conspiring– until all belong.

What if there are lots of ways of making meaning of the life of that first-century rabbi? What if we could explore the story and find the ways it has bearing our lives, especially on the eve of an election? Those are my thoughts as I walk the path. Special thanks to Smith Rock for the gorgeous backdrop.

The Bible can feel so…what’s the word I’m looking for? Wounding? Irrelevant? Unbelievable? Here’s my attempt at starting a conversation on how we can claim the Bible in its wisdom in ways that make us better lovers of neighbor and self.

This is the fourth in our series on disrupting, reclaiming and expanding parts of Christian language, tradition and ritual for our lives and experiences here and now.

You don’t get assassinated for preaching about love.
A Good Friday sermon in eight words.

But! It is the Easter season.
My technicolor hard-boiled eggs sit uneaten in the fridge (I’ll get to them…tomorrow) and our family has left town and I need to take a break from mimosas for a little while for reasons that should require no explanation.
It is the Easter season. Christ is risen.
It is the Easter season. Alleluias everywhere.

And today is April 4, 1968, and my call is calling me back to Good Friday.
(Except April 4, 1968, was a Thursday.
That’s okay: betrayal works too.)

You don’t get assassinated for preaching about love.

This is the conviction that lies underneath #whitechurchsilent. #whitechurchsilent is an online movement started in the wake of the 2016 election. It describes the phenomenon that occurs when pastors, leaders and congregations that are mostly white, that belong to mostly white denominations, that were started by white people, choose not to speak explicitly about the injustices and violence done to black and brown people in our neighborhoods and country.

Instead, we talk about love. Which is almost like not saying anything at all.
Which is why you don’t get assassinated for preaching about love.
Which is why I, and many of my pastor-preacher-minister-type colleagues are going to be just fine.

We’re safe.

We are safe when we are being called to be bold.
Like the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., who was assassinated in Memphis on this day in 1968. For preaching about love–and how it cannot be decoupled from power and justice.
“We’ve worked hard to create a vision of King that is like a black Santa Claus,” says Charles McKinney, associate professor of history at Rhodes College. (I listened to his interview today on The Takeaway from WNYC; you can (and should) listen to it, too.) In other words, popular American culture memorializes Rev. King as someone who preached about love, and it has forgotten that he was called to Memphis to defend and affirm the lives of sanitation workers who were on strike, to challenge the city to give them a living wage. It was part of a campaign he was igniting to restructure the fabric of human life in the United States and to confront the reality of poverty.
You don’t get assassinated for preaching about love, remember?

Professor McKinney compares the popular culture version of Rev. King to Barney the Dinosaur singing “I love you, you love me”; he calls him “toothless.” He says we–and by “we” I mean corporate, political and religious forces who benefit (or at least remain safe) by promoting this sanitized version–have whittled Rev. King’s narrative down to one that is about love. The Hallmark kind. But the kind of love that King preached about was the kind of love that demanded we be in the streets; that demanded we work on behalf of and alongside the disinherited. It was the kind of love that got him killed.

So this is my commitment: to expand my imagination and my heart in ways that move me from safe to bold. To let you, my friends and neighbors, invite me into that transformation. It is not always easy to imagine what Rev. King’s work might look like in Central Oregon; at least three times a week someone tells me “how white” it is here. We can debate that informal (and changing) statistic, but the real question is: do we here in Oregon not still see the three main evils Rev. King was called to challenge?
Racism; militarism; poverty.
Those among us who are undocumented know these evils.
Those among us who are underemployed and unsafely housed know these evils.

How about #whitechurchbold?
How about #whitechurchlistening?
How about #whitechurchstandswith?

At Easter, I, alongside many others, celebrate the persistent life of the One who got assassinated for preaching about love that transforms the powers of the-world-as-it-is for the sake of justice on earth as it is in heaven.
May we listen to such bold calls and live by such bold examples.
Alleluia.
Everywhere.

– Erika

This is the third in our series on disrupting, reclaiming and expanding parts of Christian language, tradition and ritual for our lives and experiences here and now.

by Leigh DeVries

In my first couple years as a youth pastor I worked with and for a self-proclaimed “boy’s club” in the South. My fellow youth ministers all went to the same all-boys school in Nashville and then had gone off to big SEC schools for college. They loved football, beer, Jesus, and teenagers. And they did their best to love me.

We were required to memorize scripture as part of our job. One such verse was John 14:21, “He who has my commandments and keeps them, he is the one who loves me; and he who loves me will be loved by my father, and I too will love him and reveal myself to him.”

Now… I don’t know if you were counting, but that’s five male pronouns and one male metaphor for God (Father), in one verse. I, as a woman, began to feel this twinge.

In response to the twinge, I looked up the verse in the original Greek (the language of the New Testament). In my endearing first attempt at understanding Biblical Greek, I understood that pronouns used were neuter, thus without gender (after having to take courses in Biblical Greek I realize I was mistaken, which is what happens when you use a free website for translation!).

So, I told my coworkers I would be using feminine pronouns. I was a woman, seeking to follow the commands of Jesus, and so I should use my own pronouns, just like they got to use theirs. And it wouldn’t be sacrilegious or ignoring the “authority” of the Christian Bible—it was simply a different interpretation.

Notwithstanding the fact that my translation wasn’t accurate, the logic still stands for me—why shouldn’t I be able to use my pronouns? They boys got to use theirs, why not me? Did Jesus really care which pronoun I used? What about Galatians 3:28, which we also had to memorize? It reads, “There is no longer Jew nor Greek, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you all are one in Christ Jesus.” If we are all one then why is it only “he who will be loved?” and not she or they?

Their general reactions to my usage of feminine pronouns fell in the vicinity of shifty eyes, discomfort, and “uh, okay?”

We then took our high school seniors to a Passion, a conservative Christian conference in Atlanta that states their goal as “…uniting students in worship and prayer for spiritual awakening in this generation.” I remember sitting in the Georgia Dome, listening to the likes of Louie Giglio and John Piper, talking about the love of our Father God. Chris Tomlin and David Crowder leading us in songs about “how deep the Father’s love for us,” our savior, the king of kings, the prince of peace, oh how He love us.

I felt this twinge, this pinch, get bigger.

Coming back to Nashville, I heard our pastors using Trinitarian closing for prayers and blessings—“in the name of the Father, and the Son and the Holy Ghost.” I realized that the Trinitarian litany was, at best, two men and some form of non-binary being.

There was no woman in the Trinity.

The men I worked with, they all planned on being fathers someday… they could get the epitaph Father that we so often give for God, whereas I could not. I would be a mother… and a Mother wasn’t what Christians called God. That was reserved for “Father.”

After life as a Christian since childhood, four years at a liberal arts college, and plenty of privileged world travel, I was struck by a deep sense of wrongness.

Feminist theologian Mary Daly once said, “If God is male, then male is God.” Through using only male pronouns for God and Jesus and the Spirit, we have deified the male gender. The language we use for God has been a participant and perpetuator of patriarchy, of hegemonic masculinity, and contributed to devaluing of any and all non-male bodies.

It would be like worshiping a redheaded God—imagine praying, “dear red-headed God, thank you for your strength and provision …” It stands to reason that the red-heads in the room might sit a little straighter, knowing they have a big thing something in common with the divine, whereas folks with all the other hair colors would begin to feel somehow less. The red-heads could think they were naturally strong, that they should be the providers, that they were more, better.

I felt like the Bible, the Church, the entire Christian community, were all telling me, overtly or not, that I was “less” because I was a woman. My “less-ness” had been blessed and made sacred by my faith, who saw me as less because of my sex and gender.

I couldn’t help but wonder at this point how the hell I was supposed to fit into this religion, this world view, when I staunchly refused to believe I was less because of my chromosomal makeup, my self-identification, my body.

I have spent years, particularly my years in seminary, trying to figure out if I can fit in this thing called “Christianity.” There have been times when I have wanted to leave my faith almost hourly, due in part to this specific issue, and the trickle-down effects I see patriarchy enacting in the world.

But God, like the bully She is, just won’t let me go. Jesus, in and beyond all of his problematic “maleness,” just won’t leave me alone and I, for some unknown reason, can’t seem to walk away from my Christian faith altogether.

And in those same seminary years, I was introduced to feminist, womanist, and mujerista theologies. I learned about the writings of women like Elizabeth Johnson, Kwok Pui-Lan, Elizabeth Schussler Fiorenza, Delores S. Williams, Emilie M. Townes, and Ada Maria Isasi-Diaz, women who saw God as more than a white man, even going so far as to identify God within their own experience—God as a black woman, as a chica joven in labor, as a mother bear, God as, a God who entered into my own and experience and saw it, saw me, as holy.

I learned about the necessity of viewing all things in context. Any reading of the Bible is a cross-cultural experience, meaning we will almost always misunderstand things because we are outside of the context in which it was written. The story of the good Samaritan really doesn’t mean much, until you learn that the Jews hated the Samaritans because of centuries of betrayal and cultural hatred. The story of Adam and Eve totally changes when you learn that adam can also mean “humankind” and that chavvah (translated Eve) means “life;” that when God makes adam a helper, an ezer, that same word ezer is most often used as a word for God, when God comes and saves the Israelites from various catastrophes. In other words, the “helper”—ezer—is sacred, potent, a part of God herself.

The greatest lesson that I keep returning to in terms of our language around God is that everything, every epitaph or curse or name, everything we ever call God is but a metaphor. No words can encompass who and what and how God is. Thus, I believe, we must be deeply intentional about our language for God, especially in church, and we must notice who and what is left out in our imaginings of God.

Using feminine imagery for God has become a deeply healing experience for me. When I hear God referred to with feminine pronouns I am reminded that I am included, loved, seen by my God. I am reminded that I have been given much, that I have that “much-ness” in common with my Creator, and am called to now live in such a way as to love as God loves—radically, empathetically, strangely, beautifully. I am reminded that in truth all gender is false, merely a helpful (and harmful) categorization for people.

I am reminded that I exist within God, that God exists within me.

A translation of Acts 17:28 is this (as I now have taken Biblical Greek):

“For in Christ we live, and move, and have our being; for we, as the poets say, are children of God.”

We are children of God, expressions of our Creator, regardless of our chromosomal makeup or identifications—we all reflect our Creator, uniquely, especially, intentionally. And as such, we must talk about Her, about Him, about Them, with language and words that recall us to our inclusion, our belovedness, and the vastness of God.

This is the second in our series on disrupting, reclaiming and expanding parts of Christian language, tradition and ritual for our lives and experiences here and now. This gorgeous reflection comes to us from Leigh DeVries, associate director of the Bend Youth Collective, youth pastor at Nativity Lutheran Church and Bend Church, and a person who brings a generosity of spirit to all she does as minister, friend, colleague and partner.

I remember one evening when I was seven, sitting at the dinner table eating Sloppy Joes with my family, when my parents asked my brother, a sullen teenager preparing for confirmation, if he had the Lord’s Prayer memorized. He didn’t. I perked up: a chance to be smug. And so I recited that prayer aloud to my family and felt thoroughly holy.

That was one of the last times I felt “Christian enough.” Since then, things have gone downhill.
I have befriended, dated and been family to people who identify as atheists.
I do not hear many (really any) of the “bumper sticker” passages from the Bible as “good news.”
I have been mad since I was twelve that Jesus was born a man.

Could I go to church? Could I go to seminary? Could I pastor a community?
Would I be Christian enough?

Well: yes, yes, yes and probably; at least, enough for me to live my life dwelling deeply in the ongoing story of the Holy. Which is Christian enough.

And so it is very good and right and meant-to-be that I have landed in the Northwest, where we talk about what is gained and lost when we use words like “Christ,” “salvation,” “church,” “Lord.” We do not take anything for granted. It is all on the table, up for debate. What happens when we die, how we find healing and wholeness, what constitutes good and healthy relationship, how we are to respond to sorrow and terror in the world: these are the questions of our time (and perhaps every time). And words like “salvation,” recited in unison from our bulletins, do not offer me any comfort. Rather, I, and I’m not the only one, might prefer to gaze at the Three Sisters on a first-of-Spring day, like today. There is salvation there, but I might not call it that. I might not need to call it anything.

And that, my friends, is Christian enough. IMHO.

Is it just me, or is there something in the water that has led us to believe that there are benchmarks and litmus tests for what makes people Christian enough? This is a problem, because I–and lots of people–do not feel like we hit those marks. I also do not feel welcome in the popular U.S. American, white evangelical narrative of who a Christian is and what a Christian looks like and how a Christian believes. I do not feel welcome and I am also not particularly interested in conforming to it. You can’t fire me; I quit!

The thing is, it is because I am a Christian that I am a feminist. Not despite it.

It is because I am a Christian that I long for tables in our churches and our world that are big enough to hold everyone, forming bonds of relationship and love across differences in belief.

It is because I am a Christian that I want to stand in solidarity with the people Jesus stood with: children, women, the ones the dominant culture calls “the other,” whether on the basis of race, orientation, identity, documentation status or wealth.

I long for community that walks together as we cultivate new vocabulary, or reclaim old vocabulary (and maybe even creeds), to express how our relationships, experiences, sorrows, joys and transcendent experiences with the Holy intersect with the wisdom of sacred texts, ancient rituals, and the teachings of our ancestors.

I am not the first nor the last to spill some virtual ink on this subject. But I want to do it, and I want to invite the people I love to do it with me. Because this is vulnerable for me–it is vulnerable to wear a collar and say I don’t know exactly what happens when we die; it is vulnerable to preach from the Bible and also feel repulsed by some of what the Bible says; it is vulnerable to occupy the liminal space between identifying with a label and yet rejecting the baggage that label carries–and I don’t think any of us want to do it alone.

So welcome to a series of writings, poems, videos, and whatever else our Creative can dream up, all with the hopes of dwelling deeply in ways that disrupt–or at least get intentional about–what it might mean to be “Christian enough” here and now. By which I mean, what it means to be imperfectly and beautifully human. What it might mean to go from the pew to the mountain, and from the mountain to beloved community. What it might mean for us to gaze with awe at the Sisters and into the faces of our siblings, friends, and neighbors in Love.

Gaze away.

– Erika

I have all the time in the world for you.
There is nothing more important than this.

I want to be the kind of pastor and friend who says this. I want to be the kind of neighbor and daughter and wife and colleague whom people know means it when she says it.

Someone said that phrase to me today in a training on suicide prevention, and she meant it.
“Everything else can wait. Put a pin in it. It’ll still be there,” she said.

Right now, we need to put a pin in it.
Whatever we are doing, it will still be there.
Seventeen people died in Parkland, Florida, yesterday, and, today at least, there is nothing more important than this.

I attended a suicide prevention training today. And I know suicide is different from homicide (suicide actually kills more people than homicide does), but the two have some common contributing factors: illness, isolation and access.

Oregon has one of the highest rates of suicide in the country. Nationally, suicide is the second-leading cause of death for young people (ages 25-34) and the third-leading cause of death for adolescents (ages 10-24). I am choked up just writing that.

And today at the training, I choked up listening to good people describe how so many of their [clients, students, patients, family members, children] couldn’t access mental health care because of long waiting lists. Illness.

I choked up listening to good, good people describe how so many folks, folks who haven’t yet reached experienced suicidal thoughts, simply need someone to talk to. Someone to listen. Isolation.

But I got angry at this statistic: Gun owners and their families suffer from suicide at a rate three times higher than those who don’t own guns. They are not sicker or more isolated. They have better access to lethal weapons. While we can debate whether guns cause suicides and homicides, we cannot debate that guns offer access. Guns are means to an end, and they are highly effective. There is little room for ambivalence or doubt with a gun. Access.

So I’m putting a pin in it. Rage can be productive, but it has its limits. I am in serious brainstorming mode about what moral people–spiritual people–of any background and persuasion can prioritize right now so that we can prevent more loss of life–more days of frustration and sorrow. Faithful response to the deaths of our fellow beloveds is necessary, political and spiritual.

Here’s what I’ve got so far:

Let your heart be broken by this. Every time. School and other mass shootings are now commonplace in the United States. That is not okay. We each carry the Holy within us; the Hebrew Scriptures tell us that God created humans in God’s very image. When we feel our hearts wanting to break, let’s let them. Then let’s use our sorrow as righteous fuel for what comes next.

Be in community. Listen to your neighbors. Create webs of belonging. Talk with other people about how to do that. We need one another when something hard happens: divorce, job loss, poverty & other forms of oppression, death. A national tragedy like a school shooting. I often take for granted that I have lots of people with whom to vent my shit. Not everyone has that. Put a pin in whatever you are doing. Tell someone that you have all the time in the world for them. This is how we can create resilient communities.

Get political about this. Not divisive. Not righteous. Speak truth to bullshit. Be public about the ways you are called to live into your [moral, spiritual, religious, parental, medical, etc.] identity. Jesus says: You are the salt of the earth, the light of the world. So be that. Find out your congressional representatives’ position on common-sense gun laws. If your congressional representatives refuse to act in response to these shootings, and that includes amping up mental health funding in local, state and federal settings, find out who is running against them and when. Research those people’s positions. Give them money and vote for them and knock on doors for them. For folks who, like me, live in Oregon’s 2nd congressional district, know that Greg Walden is among the top twenty lifetime recipients of money from the NRA. He’s up for reelection this year. Just sayin’.

Let me know what other ideas you might have. I know the list can grow long, but this is what is coming to the surface for me today.

And, of course, I hope it goes without saying:

I have all the time in the world for you.
There’s nothing more important than this.

Matthew 6:1-6, 16-21

1 “Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 “So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

5 “And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6 But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

16 “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

“You are stardust and to stardust you shall return.”

These are the words I’ll say to whatever poor souls happen to ask me what I’m up to downtown today between 3 and 5:30 pm;

I’ll be poised, ready to give out “ashes to go,”

and Hershey kisses. And paper stars with inspirational words on them.

I’ll stick out like a sore thumb.

It will be the opposite of praying in secret.

Did I mention there will be glitter in these ashes?

I mixed them in as a sign of my intention to be an ally alongside the LGBTQ community,

mixed that glitter in in the tradition of other churches that have done so,

so that I might mark the bodies of my gay, lesbian, bi and trans friends with a sign of their mortality

but also a sign of their belovedness.

It will be the opposite of praying in secret.

In fact, most of what we do in our churches is the opposite of everything Jesus tells us in this Sermon on the Mount we ought not to do.

The robes, the confessional hymns, the big stewardship campaigns, the widely advertised classes on spiritual disciplines. If you are a church person, you do this, and you know what I’m talking about. We do this.

And we will all leave here today with a big ol’ ash cross on our foreheads, and we’ll go to work or the grocery store or, if you’re like me, you will go pick up a pepperoni heart-shaped pizza from Papa Murphy’s and just be the most obvious church-going Christian ever.

And then maybe someone will ask you what it means.

———

Maybe you’ll say it’s from church. Ash Wednesday. Have a nice day.

Maybe you’ll say it’s a sign of your mortality, of your sinfulness. Have a nice day?

Maybe you’ll say it’s a ritual you grew up with, and you don’t remember what it means.

There’s no judgment. That is usually the case with most of us.

No matter what you say, there’s a good chance that Jesus would call you a hypocrite.

Just sayin’.

You’re in decent company: I am literally going to be a standing on a street corner today, just like the scribes and the pharisees Jesus’ has so much contempt for.

The scribes and the pharisees were the “good Jews.” They followed the laws and codes of Judaism to a tee and had a sense that they were more blessed by God because of it. They thought themselves “more Jewish” than the rest.

And Jesus has a lot of contempt for this. He ministered with his disciples and those gathered on that mountain–folks desperate for a new way, a different reality, a true Messiah–and his mission was all about debunking the popular wisdom that the better you follow the rules the more blessed you are.

And yet we have gathered as good Christians, to do the public ritual that we hold dear. Something that makes us publicly announce our adherence to the codes. That separates us from everyone else with their clean faces.

I didn’t grow up with Ash Wednesday as a ritual, I grew up in a less-liturgical setting, but when I first stumbled upon the tradition it felt like yessssssssssss another thing I can do to be more Christian.

We will each reconcile our presence here, the ashes on our foreheads, in our own way.

I trust, and I choose to believe, that it is not all religious posturing. Not all hypocrisy.

———–

Here is how I will make meaning of this day:

Meister Eckhart, a 13th century Christian mystic, once wrote: To be full of things is to be empty of God; to be empty of things is to be full of God.

For me, Ash Wednesday is a day for such a paradox.

Not a day when I add one more thing to my list of piousness, but rather the one day of the year when I am really clear, in a public way, about how human I am.

A day to take things away rather than to add things on.

A day to be less Christian and more human:

more honest about the shame that lives deep in me; the fear that comes from thinking I will never be enough.

More honest about the jagged vulnerability within me, the way so many things, especially love, feels risky.

More honest about how I often fear the day, hopefully far in the future, my husband will die.

How I don’t usually give money to folks who ask me for it,

how I have made embarrassing assumptions in casual conversation about people of color,

how I have sometimes not believed women who tell me their stories.

How I am bound up in systems of injustice that are destroying our planet.

How I keep on keeping on, adding more things–activities, TV shows, friendships, Target runs, another glass of wine–hoping against hope that they will be enough to keep the truth at bay.

The truth that I am just human.

From dust I came and to dust I will return.

———–

I was guilty of just such a flurry of activity recently. One of my very best friends in the world is having her first child, her long-awaited baby. She is due next month.

We celebrated her baby shower this past weekend, and amidst all the busyness of life, I had overcommitted myself to bringing a vegetable tray, buying the champagne, planning the games and making the party favors. I did not really have time for all of that. It was tempting, as I scrambled to wash and dry the onesies for the decorate-a-onesie station to think: gosh, it’s just a baby.

Which is true. Babies get born literally every minute of every day.

It’s tempting to think: it’s just a baby.

And yet: it’s a baby.

One of God’s great affirmations that what God created is good.

We are just human.

And yet: we are human.

Literally made of bits and pieces of stardust, magical debris from cosmic explosions billions of years ago that continues to float through the air and land on Earth: on our corn, on our wheat, on our coffee plants. We eat and drink it and it becomes a part of us. Over and over, until we die.

At which point our bones become a part of the earth, co-mingling with all that stardust, and becoming a part of the soil and the plants and bread and wine we eat today.

We are made of stardust.

We are also made of one another.

We are human.

What a beloved thing we have been created to be.

The God who wore skin to be close to us certainly seems to believe so.

————

That incarnate God seems to believe that following codes and laws, being good Christians or good Jews; that is not where our blessedness lies. God came to us as a stardust creature, a human, and so I cannot help but believe that, when everything else has been stripped away, our blessedness is in our humanness.

The things that divide us– our religion, our attitude, our fear of loving the other for fear it might disrupt our comfort, might change who we are. Well, that is all so irrelevant when you consider the stars.

The list of things that divide us is puny compared to that thing which unites us.

We are made of the same God-given stuff.

Living. Dying.

The same rotting bones.

The same stardust.

Stardust that walks around in skin to be one another’s neighbors, teachers, nurses.

Confidants, siblings; house-builders and taco-makers.

Messiah.

And all of a sudden, “us” and “them” has become “we.”

All of a sudden, we are a we.

A family of star specks.

We are so small.

So mortal. So human.

What very good news.

Remember: you are stardust and to stardust you shall return.

Amen.

Sermon at Madras United Methodist Church, January 28, 2018

Mark 1:21-28

21 They went to Capernaum; and when the sabbath came, he entered the synagogue and taught. 22 They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. 23 Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, 24 and he cried out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.” 25 But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be silent, and come out of him!” 26 And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him. 27 They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, “What is this? A new teaching—with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.” 28 At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee.

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.

The words of the late Leonard Cohen in his song “Anthem.”

Words of hope in a time of chaos.

Words of encouragement in a moment when it feels difficult to muster more energy.

At least, that is my situation.

I have been struggling with insomnia lately;

perhaps it’s my pillow,

or that I am known to check my email right before bed,

or that I carry excitement and anxiety in my body and my bones

as I and others begin to form a new spiritual community.

That is work that might keep one up at night.

And so Cohen’s words: that light comes from the hard, cracked places–

that feels like good news.

Cohen himself, a Jew from Canada,

said that that line was about resurrection.

And I dare say we have all known the cracked places:

the death of a parent,

the loss of a job,

the empty nest–

the everyday cracks and losses that accompany this human life,

and whose brokenness reveals some new grace to us.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.

———

Jesus’ first public act of ministry is in an encounter with man who,

coincidentally, ironically,

we today might call “cracked.”

The people said that he was inhabited by demons.

We might draw a dotted line between demonic forces then and

mental illness now.

We might best understand this man in today’s terms as one

who wrestles constantly with pure evil.

Mental illness,

addiction,

a binding force that will not let him be free.

And yet he is not really broken.

This illness, this force, has so seemlessly taken over this man

that those around him cannot tell where one stops and the other begins.

Where human stops and demon begins.

He is probably someone in the community who people write off by saying:

“Oh, him, yeah: he’s cracked.”

His affliction and his self are united;

the man’s voice, the demon’s,

the demon’s body, that of a man.

They are one in the same.

Not so far from the writing off we do when we say, well:

he’s a felon,

she’s an druggie;

he’s a bum,

she’s a welfare queen.

Affliction and self are united in

the world as it is.

No one is better than the worst thing they have done.

No one is more whole than the most broken parts of them.

So many have accused the young women who stepped forward to

tell their stories of abuse as gymnasts at the hands of their doctor–

accused them of being in it for the money and the publicity.

And yet they have run the risk that whenever they

perform,

give an interview,

plan a playdate for their child–

“Oh yeah, she’s one of those victims.”

In the world as it is,

we are not able to discern where human stops

and affliction begins.

———-

In the world as it was, in the cultural-political situation of

Caperneaum and the entire peninsula

where Jesus lived and did his ministry,

people may have been like us: not able to discern where human stopped

and affliction began.

But the original hearers, those huddled around the table,

listening to this new story, the Gospel of Jesus Christ According to Mark,

were able to discern something else:

where human stopped and occupier began.

These are working-class and poor folks,

both Jewish and Gentile,

who knew well what it meant to be occupied.

They lived under the thumb of Caesar,

subject to high taxes and a life of hard physical work.

Their land was not their own.

They know what it is to be occupied by military forces.

So when they hear this story–

“What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us?”–

they hear military language.

They will hear it again several stories later when Jesus heals another man afflicted by demons.

The demons will call themselves “legion.”

What might be a personal story about the desolation of mental illness,

might also be a very political story about the desolation caused by military occupancy and

economic oppression.

Which may not be so different from mental illness after all.

We know that undocumented people in this country suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts more than others.

We know survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts more than others.

Fear makes us sick.

And, if I’m being honest, it makes us all sick,

whether we are safe and secure

or we fear each new day;

we are not all okay until we are all okay.

Both occupier and occupied suffer under systems

that do not let us see where

human stops and affliction begins.

———–

There is a crack in everything–that’s how the light gets in.

And if there isn’t a crack there:

someone needs to make it.

We are reminded of this over and over again in Scripture:

as Jesus is being baptized, the heavens are “torn apart”;

as Jesus dies, the curtain to the temple is torn in two.

The Prophet Isaiah prays to God:

“oh that you would rend the heavens and come down,

that the mountains would tremble before you.”

There is a crack in everything–that’s how the light gets in.

And if there isn’t a crack there:

someone needs to make it.

You see, Jesus has come to do a new thing.

In the One wearing flesh, God making all things new.

Putting a crack in the system

that separates us from one another,

breaking open the system that makes us call one another names

rather than calling one another “beloved.”

God knows: that’s how the light gets in.

To the relational God–

the One who creates and calls us,

the One who heals and sustains us–

you are absolutely better and more beautiful than the worst thing you have done.

You are, without a doubt, more whole than the most broken part of you.

Jesus makes holy trouble in that temple–

puts cracks in the system–

for the sake of us all seeing that we are children of God,

when we are afflicted, and when we are at peace.

Your demons are but temporary.

Whether they occupy your body,

your mind,

your freedom.

They say nothing about who and whose you are.

Your belovedness cannot be put into question.

———-

The belovedness of that possessed man–

for Jesus, there was no doubt.

And so his act of healing was an act of

breaking.

Breaking the lie that says we are how we act,

we are what ails us,

we are mere canvases on which unjust systems can paint

the identity they wish us to have: felon, druggie; victim, illegal.

Jesus’ healing act

was an act of breaking.

The man was shaken.

This is what “exorcism” can look like: for individuals and for communities.

What withdrawal from drugs can look like.

What hard years of therapy can look like,

what the back-breaking work of revitalizing a town can look like.

What it can look like for a community to reclaim its identity after the occupiers leave.

We are shaken to the core,

weak and weeping,

broken.

Cracked.

God storms in to those places

that are desperate for it.

That need to be splintered, shattered, burst.

God goes into those places in our lives

that are desperate for the light.

So that we might know that we are made to be beloved,

and that there is no affliction–

personal or societal–

that can take that away.

God charges in to do the terrifying work of

healing us and our world,

over and over again.

So, there will be cracks.

Thanks be to God.

Because that’s how the light gets in.

I’m just going to leave this right here.

Sermon at Grace First Lutheran Church, January 21, 2018

Mark 1:14-20

14 Now after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, 15 and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” 16 As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the sea—for they were fishermen. 17 And Jesus said to them, “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” 18 And immediately they left their nets and followed him. 19 As he went a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John, who were in their boat mending the nets. 20 Immediately he called them; and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men, and followed him.

We didn’t do as much running yesterday. Mostly stopping, waiting.

Then walking a little.

It didn’t feel like marching,

but, in the tradition of those who have fought for civil rights for decades,

a “march” is the best word to describe

the gathering of 3500 people yesterday in Drake Park

at the now-annual women’s march.

There are many who wonder:

what do all those people stand for?

There were a thousand different signs. Signs for

reproductive rights,

chants of general outrage and determination.

One said: the situation is so bad, even introverts are here.

Another, held by a little boy, said: “future first husband.”

And yet another:

They tried to bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.

There are many who wonder: what do all those people stand for?

Perhaps a better question might be: what do all those people hear?

I was there. So I can humbly say,

All those people heard a call.

And to march seemed like the best way, right now, to respond.

All those people heard a call.

And they needed to respond by

gathering together with others who had also heard it,

to talk, to laugh, to listen,

to be friends and sing a few songs together.

Sounds familiar to church people, yes?

—————-

The call you hear may not have brought you to the women’s march yesterday.

Maybe it did.

But maybe it didn’t.

But it did bring you here this morning.

To gather with others who also heard it,

and wanted to be with you to talk, to laugh, to sing a few songs together,

and to listen:

to the story of a man who also heard a call,

and in hearing it,

issued a call of his own.

Jesus begins his ministry immediately after his cousin John is put in prison.

Green light.

In the news of John’s arrest, Jesus hears it: the call.

The call to proclaim a different reality from the one they live in.

They live in a system that would arrest a preacher who

threatened to break open the political norms

and break all the religious rules.

John was too dangerous; so he was put in prison.

And an invitation is issued.

Green light.

And so Jesus knows his ministry will be an inherently dangerous one.

Jesus knows his ministry will also be an inherently responsive one.

Jesus’ ministry will be about call and response.

About invitation.

The piercing injustice of John’s arrest is the invitation; and Jesus responds by proclaiming the good news: “The time is fulfilled, and the reign of God is near.”

That proclamation issues the next invitation: “repent, and believe in the good news.”

Green light.

This call and response way of life continues down the Galilean seashore, as Jesus sees fishermen at work. Bent over their nets, pulling in enough fish to eek out a living alongside their brothers, their fathers. The sight of their very lives; that is the next invitation.

And so Jesus responds with yet another call: “Follow me and I will send you to fish for people.”

And on it goes.

Green light.
———–

And that might be the best way to describe my ministry call here in Bend.

Officially, I have been called by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and the United Methodist Church to curate a new spiritual community here, in partnership with our local congregations on the ground and our ecumenical and interfaith partners.

Unofficially, I am here to listen.

And to try and cultivate ways we might all respond together.

To invite people we’ve never met before into that.

And then to listen again.

Bend is inviting me. Inviting us.

Inviting us to listen to stories about

young people who have moved away from family,

working families who can’t afford to live here anymore.

Millennials and boomers alike who want to belong

and want that belonging to show them ways of making impact on this city.

Young immigrants who study and work to create a new future for their families,

and retirees with pensions who cannot figure out their purpose.

Gay and lesbian people who still fear hate crimes here;

business and city leaders who wish their workers and their waiters could afford to live close by to their jobs.

This is what I hear, and it invites me. Every single day.

These stories of our lives and our neighbors’ lives are a clarion call,

a shrill trumpet sound piercing our routine, or, better yet,

a big. green. light.

It shines in the darkness and it will not be overcome.

It issues the proclamation and the invitation: repent, and believe the good news.

Jesus and his followers probably understand “repent” in the way that their ancestors had– the ancient Israelites in exile in Babylon. This word, to them–Shuwb in Hebrew–meant to return, or go back. The invitation to come back home.

The ugliness of the world; the hardest parts of our own stories–

these can be the call. The invitation.

And in response, Jesus says: The time is now. God is near. Come back home.

Return to the one God has made you to be.

————-

An invitation if I’ve ever heard one.

An invitation that sometimes makes people march.

Makes them sing.

Makes them come to church.

Sometimes gathers them in a room to share a meal with DACA recipients,

like the work we are doing with the Neighbor Love coalition.

Sometimes leads them to start a firewood ministry to help people heat their homes, like Nativity Lutheran’s program.

Sometimes causes people to wonder: why can’t people in Bend afford to heat their homes? Which is the question I and some emerging leaders are starting to ask in the process of community organizing.

And sometimes the “invitation to return home” guides people through a process of discernment so that they can prepare to call a new pastor that will lead them into the next invitation, the next response.

Always inviting.

Always responding.

It never, ever stops.

From the first day of Creation,

to the awe-filled magi at the manger,

to the day when we return home to God for good,

God is always inviting.

And eagerly awaiting our response.

————

I know this to be a vulnerable way of life,

this eagerness,

this anticipation,

this waiting.

I am in the practice of inviting people

all. the. time.

To share their story over coffee. To deepen their financial investment in this new ministry. To make a practice of inviting someone else to coffee.

Invitation, invitation.

Because I have never heard of Jesus posting sign-up sheets, vaguely asking for volunteers.

It is always invitation, invitation.

Come with me, you, yes you, and I will send you to fish for people.

Invitation is vulnerable. Waiting by my email, by my phone, for someone to invite me more deeply into their life, for someone to say they are just curious enough about a new community of belonging and justice to walk with me one more step on this road.

Simon and Andrew, James and John: just curious enough about a new community of belonging and justice that they will drop their nets and take that next step.

Those invitations are vulnerable.

Whether it is asking for a new job,

or for a first date,

we have all experienced that vulnerability.

Because invitation is not really invitation without it.

And relationship certainly isn’t relationship without it.

And, in my experience, God isn’t God without it either.

If we have a God who is always inviting us,

then we know we have a God who eagerly anticipates our response.

And so we must have a God who is vulnerable for the sake of a relationship with us.

But we knew that already. We know the cross.

God invites you. God anticipates your hearing of your call.

And God never stops issuing the next, most loving claim on your life.

To march.

To sing.

To come to church, maybe.

Most of all: to come home to the one God has made you to be.

Green light.

Sermon at Bend Church, December 24, 2017

If I had to sum up my life in just one word, it would be “yes.”

Yes, I am beloved: by my family, by my spouse, by my community.

Yes, I feel called to the meaningful work of loving people and loving the world.

Yes, I believe our God chose to wear flesh and be born into a dusty manger one long, dark night two thousand years ago.

Yeses everywhere.

Yeses my whole life through.

Yeses every Christmas season.

Except not this one.

All of a sudden, “yes” is beginning to feel hollow.

A little empty. A little too saccharine and simple.

My gut knows that there is power in yes–

especially the “yes” of a brave Palestinian teenager who consented

to carry the Messiah in her womb–

but my gut also fears what happens when there is too much

nodding of heads,

murmurs of agreement,

rubber-stamping.

Too many “uh-huh”s and too many “paths of least resistance.”

We know that old-fashioned term for someone at the office who never stands up for what he believes in…

A “yes man.”

Heaven forbid I become a “yes” woman.

Heaven forbid we become “yes” people.

Heaven forbid.

Literally.

————-

Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in high heaven! And on earth, peace to those on whom God’s favor rests.”

The angels have come to bring good news: good news for

all people and

good news especially for those scraggly shepherds

keeping watch that night.

These are men who occupied the lowest rung on the ladder in their society:

living isolated out in the fields,

protecting themselves with hidden knives kept in their robes,

perhaps suspicious of a culture that cast them out–

a society that would not admit their testimony in court.

These are men who, along with thousands of others, lived under the rule of

the one they called

Prince of Peace.

Lord.

Savior.

In other words, they lived under Caesar. This Caesar–Augustus–was known for resolving conflicts through violence and victory.

And so he named himself:

Prince of Peace.

Lord.

Savior.

He could trace his genealogy back 1,000 years.

That meant something back then. Power. Legitimacy.

His family lineage, his ability to violently control land and people:

this meant he could control the movements of people across borders,

impose high taxes on the poorest, and force his subjects to call him “Lord.”

The very first listeners to this story would have known:

The angels have an agenda.

————-

We have good news for you, the heavenly host say.

Good news for those who occupy the lowest rung.

Good news for the ones who are isolated, the ones who are suspicious.

The real Prince of Peace has been born,

among you, from out of your own people.

The Gospel According to Luke will later tell us that Jesus’ lineage can be traced all the way back to Eve and Adam, the very first people God created.

And this Lord, Christ Jesus, will bring peace for all the lowly ones.

Peace, the kind that comes through justice, not victory.

The Marys, the Josephs,

the shepherds of the world,

the lowly ones–

have been made by Caesar to nod their heads,

walk the path of least resistance,

murmur their “yes” to the latest round of violence and oppression.

Until the heavenly host appear to tell the shepherds that God has come to live on Earth and to say:

HELL NO.

Not any more.

————–

I think of the strong and deep ‘no”s that have shaped history.

Rosa Parks, when it was demanded that she give up her seat on the bus to a white person.

No.

The first responders who arrived on the scene after September 11th, refusing to resign themselves to what others thought was inevitable.

No.

The many women and men who have suffered from abuse and harassment in their workplace, who were pressured to stay silent to protect the abusers.

No.

Because their lives, and the lives of all God has created on Earth, have a worth

and a blessedness that require defiance.

Our God who chose to wear flesh and bones that night, shows us that, without a shadow of a doubt:

You are worth the impossible pregnancy,

the hard-fought labor.

You are worth the controversial mission and ministry,

the anticipated persecution by the empire that was and is.

You are worth the vulnerability and the struggle,

the road to the cross.

As much as you are worth God’s life,

you are worth God’s death.

As much as you are worth God’s YES,

you are worth God’s HELL NO.

No to homelessness or housing insecurity,

no to rising housing costs that force people out,

no to the circumstances and the systems that create them.

No to hunger and disease,

no to the separation of families across borders,

no to the oppression and fear that accompanies it all.

———-

We celebrate tonight the gift of that defiance.

That Christmas night, in the face of poverty and confusion, God entered in.

Because God delights in what God has created. God loves it.

A wise priest once told me that every time a child comes into the world, it is Christmas.

It is a sign of God’s delight in Creation.

In some ways, It is a big ol’ YES to what God has made.

But God’s YES is the inevitable NO to the powers and principalities of this world.

NO to the ways that we are all participants in systems we did not create but that

bind us and our neighbors up in a web of fear and forgetfulness.

Jesus’ birth was the ultimate reminder.

Christmas is our remembrance of that reminder.

A reminder that not everything goes.

“uh huh” isn’t good enough.

Yes doesn’t always cut it.

Whatever does not support and celebrate the worth and life and dignity and beauty of every little piece of God’s Creation– whatever stands in the way of that or seeks to cut it down–

God says NO to all that.

———-

There is holy defiance there.

But there is also relief there.

That in that dusty manger, God says the words we have not been able to say.

Because we have been silenced.

We have been choked up.

We have forgotten.

God says the words we cannot say.

Tonight is a silent night, a holy night,

because we have been given permission to be speechless in the face of the

profound love of the One who made us.

To revel in that sweet defiance.

To celebrate, to notice, to reflect.

To love and be loved.

The burden of defying all that is hurtful and wounded in this world

lies not on us, but on the one,

born of a poor Palestinian teenager,

whose birth was first celebrated by the lowest of the low,

and whose mission on Earth was that most defiant kind of love.

The burden lies not on us,

but we may find we cannot help but

respond to that kind of love with our own version of

hell no.

—————

We defy, and we also rest with the blessed assurance that…

…in the quietest of moments,

in the most common of things–

God is there.

In the fear of a young mother,

the tension between lovers

the wondering: will there be a place for us?

God is there.

In the cry of a baby, and its longing for milk,

in the low of the cattle

and the smell of sweet straw.

God is there.

In all of it: God defies conventional wisdom,

God stands up to systems of hierarchy and oppression,

God says no: no longer will I be separate from my own kin.

It is a sweet, silent urging that

there is truer, there is more perfect

wholeness intended for us and for all of Creation.

Intended for you.

And to whatever may stand in the way of that wholeness,

God stands defiant with a

no.

And to that, on this Christmas night, we say YES, God.

May it be so.

Sermon at Nativity Lutheran Church – November 17, 2017

John 1:6-8, 19-28

6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. 8 He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light.

19 This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” 20 He confessed and did not deny it, but confessed, “I am not the Messiah.” 21 And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” He answered, “No.” 22 Then they said to him, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” 23 He said, “I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,'” as the prophet Isaiah said. 24 Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. 25 They asked him, “Why then are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?” 26 John answered them, “I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, 27 the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the thong of his sandal.” 28 This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.

[The kiddos help us remember our baptisms]

Do you still feel a little sprinkling on your skin? I hope so.

That is yours. You get to keep it.

No one can take it away from you.

Which is the meaning of baptism for me.

You get to keep it. It’s yours forever, even after the desert air is drying it from your skin.

You get to keep it and remember it.

Though it’s barely there.

As there as the ice cubes in my cocktail.

As there as the snowflakes on my tongue.

Just barely.

But meant for you to keep.

So just try and ignore all of the rules we have placed on baptism, okay?

Like, in Lutheranism, you can only be baptized once, or else you’re doing it wrong.

And remember that Lutherans baptize babies but Baptists and Mennonites and lots of other folks wouldn’t dream of it. Darned if you do, darned if you don’t.

And, only in an emergency, when no ordained people are around, can one Christian baptize another.

And, oh yes, please remember that, in order to be a member with voice and vote in a Christian community, you must be baptized.

All of a sudden that sweet evaporating gift on your skin has become fraught.

Political.

Exclusive?

“Why then are YOU baptizing if YOU are neither the Messiah, nor Elijah, nor the prophet?”

Fraught. Political. Exclusive.

We don’t understand fully what baptism meant to Jewish sects living in the first century; perhaps it was a ritual cleansing.

It seems to be more about alliances, allegiances and transaction.

Ownership.

———-

John is faced by a group of powerful folks who clearly “own baptism.” They are the standard-bearers of religious experience. And “who,” they ask, “are YOU?”

When faced with interrogation, for we can faithfully translate “ask” as interrogate, John responds with his testimony: who he’s not and what he senses he’s here to do.

To the question, “Who are you?” John tells his own story.

He does not offer a new systematic theology of baptism.

He does not lash out against theirs.

He does not offer a program for how to fix this misunderstanding so that everyone will understand it the same way.

He witnesses to his own experience, his own story.

To the light that illumines all humankind.

That’s all he owns.

It is his forever.

Though the dry desert air sucks it from his skin.

And the religious standard-bearers insult it, fear it.

His story, on the tip of his tongue, just barely existing.

But it is his.

Besides the camel hair and the locusts we heard about last week,

his story is all he owns.

And he owns it.

—————–

I had to be taught how to tell my story.

It didn’t come naturally.

And I honestly didn’t think I had one to tell.

I grew up quite loved by my parents.

I had access to every opportunity.

I have a drive to be perfect and well-liked,

but it shared space with a suspicion that all was not well: with my soul or with the world.

I learned to tell my story from the knot in my throat.

And I had an opportunity to share parts of it on a recent trip to Cuernavaca with other Oregon pastors, as well as theologians and practitioners from Mexico and Peru.

I spent some time with a young man named Alberto, who does human rights work in Mexico City. He is my age–30–and in Mexico, it is great luck for a young man to reach the age of 30.

Violence from the drug war plagues his peers and his country.

This is a part of his story.

Meanwhile, my brother, too, is a part of the equation of the drug war. He has struggled with heroin addiction for most of my life.

And so Alberto’s pain and mine are different. I would never say that they are the same.

His pain is one of helplessness in the face of a violent, ruthless economy, a disregard for human life, and an apathy on the part of his government.

My pain is one of helplessness in the face of an addiction wrought by privilege, biology and deep spiritual wounds.

And so Alberto’s pain and my pain are different.

But they are connected.

We, all of us, tell our stories of addiction and incarceration;

violence and fear;

of power that silences;

of sexual abuse and harassment.

Our pain is different,

but it is connected.

And we can never un-know it.

Because we have shared our stories.

Though the desert air dries it from our skin,

we own them.

—————-

This is one of the foundational principles of community organizing:

that we live in the world as it is, but we sense there is a world as God dreams it,

and that the most powerful instruments we have in bridging that tragic gap

are our stories.

And when we learn our stories,

and practice telling them,

and listen to others’ stories,

we find have a bond of mutual investment in our shared liberation

from the forces of death and darkness

that threaten the livelihoods, the freedom and the joy of all people.

And that bond is powerful.

Stories are powerful.

And no matter how little or how much you or I may own in the world as it is—

a car, a house, a boat, a company,

our stories can build real power

if we “organize” them in a process of shared discovery and accompaniment.

Community organizing and the power of story are the ground on which we will cultivate a new spiritual circle in Bend: an ever-widening circle that builds spiritual and relational power for the sake of belonging, community and impact on the common good.

It will be a community where we celebrate God’s good gifts and where we roll up our sleeves to show one another our wounds. “Here’s mine. Where do you hurt?”

Organizing bonds us in that way.

But also propels us. Because we will then roll up those same sleeves to work and walk alongside one another as an act of healing and disruptive justice.

And this is inherently improvisational.

We know that faith life, activities of fellowship and service, programs–even the wood lot and food pantry: they are born of story and will change with story. They cannot and will not always remain the same.

Operating out of our stories is inherently improvisational.

Because I cannot anticipate your story, and you cannot anticipate mine.

And we will only know the work once we have walked alongside one another.

The first words that Jesus will utter in the Gospel According to John are: “what are you looking for?”—curiosity. Invitation.

Because there is no road map for this.

There is only a compass.

The Word alive in each of us. Our stories.

——

And no one else can own them.

How frightening for the religious establishment.

How frightening for the world as it is: the world that says what you own is what you are worth.

The world that says I have something, and so I will give you a little.

The world that decides who gets to bestow a baptism of worthiness on whom.

The John who baptizes testifies to his story–

shows the Pharisees the most holy thing about him–

and in so doing disrupts the system of holiness.

He prepares the way for the one who will not only disrupt but will offer a new way of knowing God:

a way that says, “These are my wounds. Where do you hurt?”

The one who will break down the narrative of who is servant and who is served.

The one who will speak in invitation rather than theology.

The one who will reveal that the most worthy thing about us, well–

You get to keep it. It’s yours forever, even after the desert air has dried it from your skin.

You get to keep it and remember it.

And tell it. And hear other people tell theirs.

And we get to walk lock step with friends and companions on a road of deep, wounded and joyful mutuality.

There are no rules, no polity, no partisanship.

No program, no script, no map.

Only a Word.

John 1:9-14

The Word was coming into the world–

was in the world–

and though the world

was made through the Word,

the world didn’t recognize it.

Though the Word came to its own realm,

the Word’s own people didn’t accept it.

Yet any who did accept the Word,

who believed in that Name,

were empowered to become children of God–

children born not of natural descent,

nor urge of flesh

nor human will–

but born of God.

And the Word became flesh

and stayed for a little while among us;

we saw the Word’s glory–

the favor and position a parent gives an only child–

filled with grace,

filled with truth.

The Word that broke all the rules.

That still is.

And it belongs to you, and you to it.

Forever.

Own it.